When I was 16 years old I was very naive! I had thought about sex, but I made a promise to myself to wait until I met THE ONE. It was a big deal for me. I had met this guy over Snapchat. I later found out that I knew of him from my old highschool. He asked me when we could meet. I told him "I don't know my parents don't want me hanging with boys."
You know, when you're young you think all people are good. So after being talked into it, he got me at "I'll come help you with school." At the time, I was doing online school by myself all afternoon. So I figured the help would be nice along with some company.
He got to my house, we sat on the couch and I pull my laptop out. He told me to sit in between his legs so he could help me and relax. So I did and he pulled me closer to him. I thought nothing of it. He started to help me with my report. After a good hour went by he said "Let's take a break." I agreed and we just talked. I tried to move and face him but he wouldn't let me. In fact, he pulled me onto his lap.
I was a little reluctant, but I decided to just go with it. Those of you who know me, know that is what I usually do. He then pushed his lips to mine. At first, I was reluctant but I soon kissed him back. I stopped it there, he wasn't listening so I used my period as an excuse to stop. He must not have wanted to deal with the blood. I stood up and had bled through my jean skirt. I remembered he was so calm about it and he just left.
He then called me later that day asking me to sneak him in. He said he just wanted to watch Netflix and cuddle. I was really missing my friend that had recently passed so I agreed. He got to my house, I snuck him in around midnight. He got into bed with me and watched New Girl with me. But he slowly got more and more handsy. Before I knew it he was kissing my neck, leaving a few hickeys. I didn't want to wake my parents. I kept telling him to stop. He still didn't listen, so around 2 AM I said he had to leave so my parents wouldn't find him. He told me after work that he would stop by.
I rode my bike home from work and went inside. Soon he arrived, figuring out that I wasn't on my period anymore. He then pushed me down onto my bed. Being naive, I thought he was just playing. He crawled on top of me. He started to have sex with me. I tried to push him off and I tried to say no. But he just ignored me so I gave up. I told a cop about it a few months later. He told me a court of law wouldn't see it as rape. So I just figured that was a normal experience.
Every time I would hear someone's story or watch Law and Order SVU, I would get so upset. It wasn't until recently a friend helped me realize I never coped with what had happened to me. He didn't even care about me. In fact, when he got what he wanted, he called me and accused me of doing something I never did. It hurt so badly, one of his girlfriends even called me and threatened me telling me to stay away from him.
I'm gonna be honest, I was scared. Shortly after, my school spread a rumor that I left due to being pregnant. Which was false. I just kept blaming myself, but not anymore. I didn't do anything wrong. Any woman who has ever been raped, remember its not your fault. I mostly made this as a goodbye. I will no longer allow that sick bastard to fill my memories. This is the last time I will ever talk about it in a depressing way. I am strong and independent! I can do anything!