Through fault of both society and our own, many people are under the impression human beings can be accurately described by a single label. Smart. Stupid. Girly. Materialistic. Tough. But in reality, labels are for making sure you can put that new shirt in the dryer, not for defining people.
I’m indescribably exhausted by the girl-who-likes-pink-is-breakable trope. Girls can like pink if they like pink. Boys can like pink if they like pink. It’s a color. Colors don’t have genders, despite what society dictates. Just because someone likes pink doesn’t mean they aren’t strong. And not just physically. Everyone has their own unique strengths, and whether or not you’re into pink has nothing to do with it.
Clothing is a similar issue. It shouldn’t matter what clothes you wear, ever. Everyone deserves the same respect, whether they wear skirts, suits, a lot of clothes or not a lot of clothes. People have been criticizing what women in particular wear for centuries. Wear what you want. It’s your body. Makeup is no different. Just because someone doesn’t wear makeup doesn’t mean they’re “lazy”. Just because someone wears lipstick doesn’t mean they can’t recite Shakespeare at the same time. It doesn’t make a person less intelligent. Likewise, just because someone might feel more confident wearing makeup doesn’t mean they aren’t comfortable with the way they look under it. And if they aren’t, don’t take something that gives them confidence away. Gender shouldn’t be a factor, either. In my opinion, if I have the ability to wear art, I most certainly will. It doesn’t have anything to do with my mind or my gender, and neither does your opinion.
The label “tough” has lost its meaning over the years. People have twisted that word to benefit a misogynistic mindset and toxic masculinity. You will be told lies. You will be told that boys shouldn’t cry. You will be told that girls are weak because they do. Truth: emotion is strength, emotion is human. Feel as much as you can, and let yourself do so, because emotion is what makes us compassionate, it’s what gives us depth. To be tough is not to be emotionally untouchable. To me, to be tough is to get out of bed when it seems impossible, to hold your head high even when you’d rather disappear from the world, to cry but have the strength to remind yourself that your tears aren’t all the world has to offer.
Careers are the same story, different title. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can be an astrophysicist, a mechanic, or a CEO. Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you can’t be a cosmetologist, a dancer, or a stay-at-home dad. No one is holding you back from the life you want to live if you have the strength to recognize the labels, and choose to defy them, despite the obstacles that may lie ahead. No one is born with an idea of what might stop them because of who they are. We as a society shape their thinking.
Although normally exploited, labels can be good things, too. Words to help you describe yourself, identify yourself, and understand who you are. But never limit yourself to a single “default” definition. Give yourself time to grow and develop. Allow change, allow backwards steps and progress alike. Wear pink. Enjoy makeup. Choose the career you want to devote your precious time to. Do all of this, or anything else, as long as you remain confident in the knowledge that you can be smart, strong, feminine, masculine, emotional, and tough. You are human, you are undefinable, and you are so much more.
Love always, Josie Bleess