When underage girls are reprimanded for the clothing they wear, there is an impact. Whenever the phrase “boys will be boys” is uttered, there is an impact. When catcalling is tolerated and normalized, there is that same repetitive and negative impact.
Rape culture is prevalent in today’s society, and the first step needed is to discontinue its normalization. Nearly every school has a dress code, some more strict than others. There are numerous posts of protest on social media, where young girls tell their story of how a sexist dress code affected them. Most forbid shorts that your fingertips pass when your arms are at your sides. Tank tops. Bra straps. Crop tops and
open back shirts. In many student rule books, the reasoning behind this ban has to do with a “distraction”-free learning environment.
The issue lies in that phrasing. What is so distracting about clothing? A thin-strapped tank top on its own isn’t considered distracting. Which leads to the realization that it’s our bodies schools consider distracting. It’s easy to disregard any discomfort of this thought, because a dress code feels like an unavoidable requirement. However, the human body is normal and natural. The fact is, declaring a shoulder distracting, or claiming leggings are too figure-revealing, gives power to rape culture, and normalizes the sexualization and shaming of the female body. Underage girls should not have to worry about whether or not their bra strap is visible. It’s clothing. Fabric is not distracting. Authorizing the objectification of someone’s body should be distracting. Furthermore, the assumption that clothing choice
is responsible for distraction promotes the concept of victim-blaming.
Another problem begins with special treatment of boys’ behavior at a young age. All too often it is heard that “boys will be boys”, or “that boy is mean to you because he likes you”. We see young girls who don’t understand why they are told to “just ignore him” when a boy picks on her. These are lies perpetuated and accepted throughout society because it is taught. No girl is born with an inferiority complex. It is absorbed that not everyone views women the same way they view men.
Unlike the previous phrases, the sexism isn’t always as indistinct. In the conversations of some older boys, they will use the word “raped” as a casual verb. As if it doesn’t happen. As if it hasn’t happened to someone they know, whether they’re aware or not. As if they have the privilege to not feel a deep, stomach-twisting feeling when the word is thrown around carelessly. In some cases, they might get reprimanded by an adult within earshot. But I’ve never heard anyone teach a boy why that use of the word is unacceptable. And when they aren’t taught any other way, the behavior doesn’t change. Teach boys to
respect men and women alike. Teach boys that they will be held accountable for their words and actions like everyone else. Teach girls that their confusion to inequity is valid; that they are strong and equal.
If the false truths aren’t stopped, the problems grow. Boys grow up thinking they are immune to accountability, that crude behavior is acceptable because of their gender. Men catcall women on the streets. They make offensive comments about the appearance of a woman. We get told to smile. I’m tired of smiling. I don’t owe anyone a smile, a hug, or a conversation.
We as women live in fear of an unsafe stranger that might not leave us alone on the street. On a bus. In a taxi. Near a stairwell. So we have to take precautions. Keys turn into a weapon we feel safer holding. We clip mace key chains onto our backpacks. We text a friend exactly when we will be home and who to call if we don’t send a confirmation message by then. We download apps to insure our safety walking home.
We lock the doors of our car as soon as we enter, and begin to driving as soon as the door is closed. Women are taught these things because it’s a matter of survival. It’s a matter of terrifying statistics. But no one should have to fear a two-block walk at nine p.m. to a friend’s house. Rape culture is a circle of intolerance, sexism, and fear. If that cycle isn’t stopped at the start, it won’t ever end. We have to continue to teach equality. Continue to teach bodily integrity; that consent is essential. Continue to question why something just doesn’t sound right because of subtle sexism many others may overlook. Continue to break the cycle, and create a world that recognizes all human beings as equals, where no one should have to live in fear because of their gender.
-Josie Bleess
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